Home: An Update

We'll we've been home about two weeks now and I haven't been too good about updating our blog. Everyday is busy, busy while everyone gets used to schedules, work and everyday stuff. We all had terrible jetlag when we got back and I would be ready to start my day around 2:00 am. Of course by the time afternoon hits you are dragging and trying not to go back to bed. Wu Ning is getting used to her new home and life. When she met Guinness she was a bit scared but curious too. She is still learning about being gentle and needs to apply this people as well as animals. Luckily Gwen is taking most of this in stride and often finds her sister's fits funny.

There have been some interesting moments as Wu Ning learns about expectations and customs here - a bit like Chinese Beverly Hillbillies! She is starting to learn not to pull her swimsuit off at the pool, go to the bathroom outside when you are in the yard, unbuckle your carseat on the highway or throw food you don't like on the floor. Guess we're not quite ready to visit too many houses yet! She is understanding more of what we say and she is quickly getting used to other typical American things - fries, riding in the shopping cart and going to the pool (which she loved!).

I've also been doing some detective work since we've been back since we found out Wu Ning spent some time in the orphanage in Xian before joining her foster family. I looked through a few hundred pictures posted on a yahoo group web site (parents and volunteers post them if they got to go to the orphanage) and found a few pictures of Wu Ning when she was about 1. You just have to sift through them since there are no names and look for facial features, hairstyle/pattern, etc. These will be great for her to have and she recognized herself immediately when I showed her the pictures! Here's one nice close-up:

We also received pictures of her along with her foster family. We had mailed them a disposable camera a few months ago and were able to develop the pictures when we returned. She lived in a family that had two biological teenage boys and judging from the pictures she was well-cared for. We understand that foster parents do not normally adopt the children in their care even if they would want to - just another part of their child welfare system that is much different than ours. She lived there for three years and we believe she regarded them as her family, which I'm sure has made her transition hard. We will keep this pictures for her when she is older and ready to see them. I will say it really took us aback to see her with another family, but we are glad she got the opportunity to have that loving home when she was younger, since most kids spend most of their time in institutional care.

Well that's it for now - we are so happy to have our little girl home finally!

Beijing Sites and Pictures

Summer Palace - Beijing - Visited on Thursday, June 25th

The palace was the first site that we visited. It was beautiful and the grounds were expansive built around a large lake. All three of us were suffering from jet lag and from the 100 degree+ heat, but enjoyed the site nonetheless.

The palace was home to China's most powerful Emperess. The two most impressive parts were the "Long Corridor" which was a covered walkway that stretched along the lake for almost a mile. It was a wood beam construction with very elaborate painted scenes for the entire expanse. About half way down the corridor there was a large temple on top of the hill. I hiked about 500 stairs up to see the temple and enjoy the amazing view. Inside the temple there was an extremely large Budda. Unfortunately the pictures of the Budda did not show up due to the poor lighting.

This first picture shows the elaborate painting on the long corridor

This next picture shows the temple on top of the hill

This is a dragon guarding the long corridor

The last picture is of a boat made out of marble at the end of the long corridor

Temple of Heaven - Beijing - Visited on Friday, June 26th

Unfortunately Gwen was sick and had to miss the sites in the day on Friday. Dolores gratiously offered to stay back at the room with her, since she had seen the Temple of Heaven already on her previous vacation to China.

This temple was used by ancient Chinese emporers for a ceremony once a year were they gave animal sacrifices to heaven.

The first two pictures are of the main temple

These are the couldrens where the Emporers would burn the remains of the animals that they sacrificed to their god

After the Temple of Heaven, Laura and I went to an old Hutong area and took a rickshaw tour through the Hutong. Hutong is an old traditional Chinese type of neighborhood with single story houses that are designed with the concept of Chinese fungshway. The houses consist of four single room buildings built in a square around a courtyard. I forget which direction is which, but the room on the side that is most desirable for light and temperature was for the owner of the house. The second most desirable room was for the boys. The third for the girls and the last room was for a servant(s).

On Saturday, June 27th we visited Tieneman Square, the Forbidden City and the Great Wall.

The first two pictures were taken in Tieneman Square. The first is Laura in front of the famous building with the massive portrait of Mao Tse Tung. The other is an example of one of the many, many times that Gwen had her picture taken, famous with her exotic red hair. We couldn't walk 10 feet without someone asking if they could take their picture with her.

The next picture doesn't do the Forbidden City justice. The is where the Chinese Emporers ruled from for over 1,000 years up to the very last emporer. Pictures just do not capture the massive size of the walled city. It goes on and on and is considered the most important site in China.

The last picture was our last stop in China and doesn't really need a caption. It's the Great Wall. It's another site that our pictures just don't do justice to the massive size of the thing.

Laura, Doleres and Gwen stayed towards the bottom of the wall. I hiked up on my own to the 5th Watch Tower which was about 35 minutes straight up very steep stairs and then 35 minutes back down. The wall goes on and on and on across northern China. You hike for weeks on it. I knew it was long, but I didn't really grasp (unitl I saw it) that it goes up and down over a mountain range. The trek was exhilerating and the views amazing. This was the last site that we saw in Beijing. The next morning we were off to Xian to meet Wu Ning!

Final Leg of Trip

I'm a little behind these days (surprise!) but wanted to report on the final days of the trip. We completed all of our paperwork and everything went without a hitch! After keeping it together the entire trip I got a little teary eyed just certifying the paperwork was accurate - I guess I was just relieved to know we were actually done and nothing had happened to delay us any further. We left China and headed to Hong Kong where we had an afternoon and evening built in to see sights before leaving in the morning. That sounded good in theory but in practice not so much. Wu Ning cried at the promenade, cried at Victoria's Peak, and cried until she fell asleep while heading back to the subway. In between crying the sights were beautiful though and I would love to see more of Hong Kong if I get the opportunity to go back to Asia. The standard of living is much different than China and you feel like you are in any major international city.

Flying Home - the happy part

Gwen with some new friends

Hong Kong Skyline
Pretty dresses for the group picture

Then it was time to fly home - a flight we'd been dreading with 2 kids. The first flight was worse than I expected (and I'm sure the people around us were thrilled) so it was a long 4 hours. Then time for the 10 hour flight were Wu Ning kicked and screamed for about 20 minutes and then collapsed and slept about 8 hours - yeah! I didn't sleep a wink though so by the time we got home I was worse for wear.

But we came home to a great surprise - welcome home signs and a ton of food from friends - it was wonderful coming home to a stocked fridge! We are so lucky to have all of you and it made us feel so happy to be home.

Greetings from Guangzhou

We are almost done with paperwork and will be leaving in a few days! Guangzhou is nice but even I can only eat so much Chinese food! We had horrible pizza last night - so much for trying an American restaurant. We hvae a farewell dinner with the families tonight and it has been great meeting everyone and having people share a common experience.

Yesterday we went to a temple where Gwen received a special blessing. Wu Ning was too busy crying to receive it - I figured the monks didn't want a screamer. She is doing well overall but cries at the drop of a hat. She likes to run away but other times will need to hold hands every second. Each day she gets a bit more used to us and seems to understand a fair amount of what we say - she has a few American words down but still has a long way to go of course. She is now comfortable taking a bath (took about 4 days), going to the bathroom, changing clothes, etc. so that has helped tremendously. She has the same Sugar and Spite personality of her sister and mother so Jeff will be in real trouble now -- three volatile women! She has bonded well and really does feel like part of the family - something I was a bit worried about before but it really does happen and very quickly.

Here are the girls with Grandma wearing their grandma, big sister, little sister shirts.

We spent the 4th of July like most Americans I guess - across the globe with our Chinese adopted daughter watching belly dancers in a middle eastern restaurant... a memorable holiday at the least!

We went to the zoo today which makes me appreciate ours even more. They actually had a dog chained up in the petting zoo and a fair amount of the buildings didn't come close to what we would expect. The children's splash area was apparently clothing optional so we took a pass on that. Since toddlers just squat on the ground here, I've not had much appetite for water play areas or pools. One hour or so in the blazing heat was enough for all of us so we took off after we saw a tired panda.

The girls wearing their monogram shirts -thanks Martha!

Yesterday we went to a wholesale market with floors and floors of toys and junk everywhere. We were the only westerners there and like all shopping here was just wall to wall people. Hopefully I haven't lost my concept of personal space and won't want to keep shoving ahead and being so close to people when I get home!

Here's a picture of the girls with our coordinator, Sherri, who helped us learn Chinese.

We miss everyone and will be anxious to see friends when we get back and settled in!

Laura

Hello from Gwen

We are having fun. Wu Ning is nervous but getting better. It is fun being a big sister. We have gone to many festivals and we've seen pandas, kangaroos, and monkeys at the zoo. I was famous in China -- everyone wanted to take my picture. We went shopping for my friends at a festival. We got to go see a street festival. I can't wait till we come back and see my friends. And also you! Love, Gwen

Wednesday in Xian

On Wednesday, we saw the Terracota Warriors. These are statues of soldiers that were discovered about 40 years ago when some farmers were digging a new well and found the head of a warrior. There are over 7,000 warriors that were buried with the first Emperor of China in the Qin dynasty. It was not the first dynasty, but was the first to control so much land to be called Emperor. He believed that by burying all of his soldiers with him he could control them in the afterlife. An advisor convinced him that the soldiers would revolt against him and he would lose control if he insisted on his plan, but that he could make statues with the faces of each of the soldiers and they would still protect him in the afterlife. The Chinese consider this the 8th Wonder of the World. I'm not sure if it carries the same recognition around the globe, but it was fascinating.

It was over an hour in the van each way and the kids had both had enough by the end of the trip. In hindsight, it was probably not realistic to expect them to handle that long of a trip. There were quite a few meltdowns and at one point, Wu Ning broke away from Laura with surprising speed and gave us all a scare. It is pretty obvious that she is testing the boundaries. She is an adorable kid, who I think is very smart, curious, self-reliant, and has a very strong will. She will test us because that is what 4-year-olds do, but her smiles and infectious laugh far outweigh the tests.

Gwen has been a trooper through all of this. She hasn't really said anything, but it's obvious that she's struggling with not being the only child and not getting all of the attention. She has been very supportive and has been sharing her toys without complaint. The language barrier is probably holding them back a little. I think once Wu Ning learns English, they'll start to bond more. Dolores has been a great help through all of this. Gwen pleads to sleep in her room each night and I think she is giving Gwen the one-on-one attention that she needs to keep going. There's no way we could have brought Gwen without Dolores' help.

We went to a dumpling dinner / traditional Chinese dance performance that evening. The dumplings were delicious and kept coming and coming. They must have brought at least eight baskets of dumplings, maybe 20 different varieties in the end. I've never been so full in my life.

The dance performance was traditional and not something I need to see again, but the kids seemed to like it.

Bye for now,

Jeff and Wu Ning

Outside Xian

This is Jeff and Gwen writing this time. Laura and Wu Ning are upstairs taking a nap. As Laura already wrote, we got Wu Ning on Sunday night. She was not as excited to meet us as we were to meet her... I'll just leave it at that. She is amazingly resilient. She has bonded well with us and is trusting us more and more each day.

On Monday, we went back to the civil service office to answer questions, swear to take care of Wu Ning, and pay various fees and give presents to the offanage workers and the notary. We also gave a donation to the orphanage that, in Chinese currency, was a stack about 4 inches tall! Wu Ning was very nervous and holding on to Laura for dear life, but she didn't cry.

On Tuesday, we went to see the hospital where Wu Ning was found and taken care of in her first few days before being placed in an orphanage. By coincidence our guide was born in the same hospital and grew up in the neighborhood around the hospital. Evidently it is very unusual to see the place where your child was found and only possible because of our good luck and the unbelievable coincidence that our guide was born in the same hospital.

Here we are at the front gate to the hospital where Wu Ning was found.

The hospital was in a small town (although I never saw where the city of Xian ended and small towns started) about an hour and fifteen minutes from our hotel. We had to take two cabs, so Sherry (our guide) and Doleres were in the lead cab and Laura, Gwen, Wu Ning and me were in the second cab. A little bit about Chinese drivers--they are insane! You haven't truly experienced fear for your life until you've ridden in a cab in China. The lane lines are just suggestions, no one obeys the traffic signals, bikes, motorbikes, pedestrians, cars and trucks all share the road and every intersection is a complete free-for-all with near collisions at every turn. Couple this with trying to follow a lead cab, 100 degree+ temperature, a ride that lasted over an hour, and a child who has trouble with getting car sick (Gwen) and you are asking for a disaster. To Gwen's credit she hung in there until the end of the ride, turning green early on. She made it to our destination, scrambled out of the car and threw up her little guts on the nearest tree.

Gwen seemed to rally, so we took pictures in front of the hospital and then walked into a beat up old courtyard and into the hospital. (another photo of hospital) It was very old and very small with what looked like about 4 or 5 rooms on the first floor. It reminded me of what a hospital might look like in World War I. All in all it was a pretty solemn and sad experience yet moving and I think important to understand Wu Ning's history.

It was so hot that Gwen started to turn pale again. Again, by great chance, Sherry grew up in this neighborhood and her mom still lives there and is a pharmacist! You can't make this stuff up. The pharmacy where she works was about three blocks away. We met Sherry's mom and she gave us some pills to treat motion sickness. Gwen took a half of a pill and then we walked further down the street to find a respite from the heat. The hospitality in China is so amazing. Some people that Sherry had never met insisted that we come into their store to relax and brought us chairs and Gwen a small chase lounge to recline in and recover. They brought us some fruit which Wu Ning devoured while Gwen recovered. We were there for about 30 minutes and then Gwen recovered enough to brave the cab ride back to our hotel. The medicine and the kind people did the trick and we all survived without incident.

More to come,

Jeff and Gwen

Meet Rebecca

Hello everyone. This will cover the last few days - we've had Rebecca about 48 hours now.

We were a bit nervous when it actually came time to get her and our coordinator picked us up from the hotel and took us to the Civil Affairs Office. It has been moved to the Science and Technology Museum which was a bit worse for wear. Three other couples (three people had degrees from Webster University!) were also there from another agency and we sat in the lobby until it was time to go upstairs. Gwen was getting excited but a bit nervous as well. We came upstairs and about 10 minutes later the children were brought into the office. As soon as Rebecca saw us she had a complete meltdown and was holding onto the doorframe and the nanny for dear life. She is as cute as can be and looks smaller and younger than the last picture we had. She had wafers and a half eaten cookie in her hand which she held onto the first few hours. She also had a little dog Gwen had picked out for her in the package we were allowed to mail and we were told it was a favorite toy. The only other possessions she came with were a nightgown and some kind of jacket, trucks and a little stuffed toy that she had a in plastic bag.

She would not let go of the nanny and they finally had to pull her off the nanny and make her sit on my lap. Then it was time to leave the office and get her passport picture taken and a family registration picture. She screamed the entire time and was inconsolable. We were quite a sight as I held this little Chinese girl screaming along with a little red head and were causing a lot of attention. We got back to the hotel and she cried a bit longer and then finally did nothing. Gwen did a great job during this whole time and started getting toys out. She eventually turned around and then was VERY active for a while. We were able to go out to dinner and she had a great time and ate a ton.

She had to go back to the office the next day and got very upset when she saw the coordinator. She eventually calmed down and we were able to finish that day's paperwork. She finally put on a new shirt today but had a lot of tears - still the same shorts she had on when we picked her up and no bath yet. If you show her clothes she folds them up as neatly as a gap employee and then puts them away. Apparently in the countryside children don't change as often and baths are more of a sponge bath so we will have to take it slowly. She still gets upset easily and likes to throw something or grab something to test us. She is intrigued with what we brought with us and I don't think she was familiar with a western toilet - she did use the toilet paper to wrap up dominoes and put them in a drawer! She is referring to us as mama and baba and says some version of Gwen. She had a picture book about us before we got her and it was obvious she had gone through it before.

Although she will probably have an initial harder adjustment it was good she was in a foster home here versus the orphanage- apparently not the usual situation. She has lived on a farm with a family that had two older biological boys and we get the impression she got a lot of attention and has gone to some level of preschool. The foster mother requested our email address so she could check in on Rebecca when we get back so I hope we will hear from her.

She is bright and curious and I think she will catch on quickly to English. Chinese is not easy and the coordinator has a hard time understanding her it seems. We know a little Chinese but it is a tonal language and pronunciation is very important - for instance baba can mean daddy or "to poop" depending on the tone of your voice!

So all is well and we'll post more later! (Sorry but spell check won't work.) Laura